Ed Knegtel
A vacancy arose within the Ministry of Open Doors, I saw in the newspaper of the Netherlands when I was changing the litter box. After the departure of Rutte, Kaag and not to forget Mr. Hoekstra and Sylvana Simons (the greatest cartoon characters, I think of the last two: Wopke and Sukke) are also no longer in the picture. I was sounded out in my dreams.
I’m just an ideas man. If you wake me up at half past three in the morning, I will have suggestions ready for your home, garden, relationship and Christmas menu. That doesn’t make anyone happy and I’m often broke at work.
But now I have an idea! If this is rolled out in a nice and decisive manner at the beginning of Yesilgöz 1, then the MPs can sit back for four years and continue using apps, watching porn or whatever they do during sometimes quite important debates. Fun fact: Yesilgöz’s first name is Dilan and is often called Bob after lunch.
The idea
Now that pooping and keeping wet is passé Overflakkee (Dilan suggested something like this on the national television, at yet another talking puppet theater): let’s at least do something. Doing well. ‘Doing good cannot be wrong’, the greatest Dutch philosopher after Spinoza might have said. I argue for a Charity Tax.
Every Dutch person pays pro rata, the strongest shoulders can no longer be shrugged off. No one has to have that nagging feeling of guilt at the door anymore, in fact: no one comes to your door anymore. With the exception of a few Jehovah’s Witnesses, I still have to work out the plan further. Consuming alone and never putting a single euro into a slot (or scanning one of those QR code thingies) is no longer an option. It will be a little more difficult to detect the aso in your area, fortunately we still have traffic and sports competitions.
Abandon your own language
A special civil servant ‘task force’ (when things get tense, we like to leave our own language) will ensure that all those billions are properly distributed among nature, pathetic children, community centers and the like and I can already think of some crises that will then to be resolved ‘gradually’ (read: more than in the previous four cabinets).
Don’t mention it. I turn around for a moment…